"Duty first"

I came across a very moving story while reading Life and Letters of Gen. Robert Edward Lee. The story was told by Col. Walter H. Taylor, who was Gen. Lee's adjutant throughout the war in his book, Four Years with Lee. I have that book as well, but its been a while since I have read it, but was reminded of this story as it was recounted by John William Jones. The timeline is after the Army of Northern Virginia has returned to Virginia after the Battle of Sharpsburg, MD, (Bull Run) as called in the North. There Lee and the Confederate Army held off an army far outnumbering that of their own army, and waiting a whole day, the next day, for another attack from the enemy. When that attack never came, and news of massive reinforcements on the side of the north were reported, Lee moved the army across the Potomac River and back into Virginia. Some time after that movement, this story took place.

Walter Taylor writes:

"Tidings reached General Lee soon after his return to Virginia from Maryland of the serious illness of one of his daughters, the darling of his flock. For several days apprehensions were entertained that the next intelligence would be of her death. One morning the mail was received, and the private letters were distributed, as was the custom, but no one knew whether any home news had been received by the General. At the usual hour he summoned me to his presence to know if there were any matters of army routine upon which his judgment and action were desired. The papers containing a few such cases were presented to him; he reviewed and gave his orders in regard to them. I then left him, but for some cause returned in a few moments, and with my accustomed freedom entered his tent without announcement or ceremony, when I was startled and shocked to see him overcome with grief, an open letter in his hands. That letter contained the sad intelligence of his daughter's death....

His army demanded his first thought and care; to his men, to their needs, he must first attend, and then he could surrender himself to his private, personal affairs. Who can tell with what anguish of soul he endeavored to control himself and to maintain a calm exterior, and who can estimate the immense effort necessary to still the heart filled to overflowing with tenderest emotions and to give attention to the important trusts committed to him, before permitting the more selfish indulgence of private meditation, grief, and prayer? "Duty first" was the rule of his life, and his every thought, word, and action was made to square with duty's inexorable demands."